| | i am taking a break from my homework to examine the pit in my stomach.
i want to know what the hell is wrong with me. a few days ago i was so happy. last night i was happy, in fact last night was amazing. it was wonderful to talk, to spill my soul without reprocusions of any sort.
i guess what is hurting is that i hurt someone i love. that i do care about. my carelessness has caused pain, which is not fair. i should do things with more intention, not do things half-assed. but im fucking human. im not perfect. i would never try to use someone especially sense i know that has already happened to them. i am hurt that this person would think that i am or ever would. i didnt mean to hurt her, but at the same time i feel like this is very one sided. i have felt very flaked out on since holly's shower. but i am afraid if i say something it will be viewed as a pity party. fuck. we fucking have priorities now. not to say that she is not important, but living is our main priority now.
i have not been on the verge of tears in a long time. last night i cried. on the way to class, during my quiz, on my way home and after. later that night, a couple of times, and now. it still hurts and i am not sure what it is. why does life have to be so complex?
i know this is very obscure...but i just need to write.......needed to release what the fuck is sitting in a ball at the bottom of my stomach. |
| | Posted 3/28/2006 7:41 PM - 17 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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